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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320267">You’re Not a Burden, Child, For You Are Loved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopithecus/pseuds/Lopithecus'>Lopithecus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>KakaGai Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akamichi Choza - Freeform, Brief appearances from: - Freeform, Day 1 Prompt, Ebisu - Freeform, KakaGai Week 2020, M/M, Shiranui Genma - Freeform, kakagai week</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:49:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopithecus/pseuds/Lopithecus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gai deals with his father's death with Kakashi's help</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>KakaGai Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>KakaGai Week 2020 entries</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You’re Not a Burden, Child, For You Are Loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For day 1 of KakaGai Week 2020. Gai and Kakashi are around 12 here.</p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>Prompt - Day 1: Burden</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gai doesn't really understand the concept of being a burden. He knows Asuma thinks he's a burden to his father and that Kakashi thinks he's a burden to, well, everyone but he's never actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>got</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. That is until his father died trying to save him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is his father jumping in front of him and his team, body engulfed in green as he had already opened up the first five gates. His dad had told Gai and the team to leave, to leave the seven swordsmen to him. Gai knew what he was about to do, that he was about to open up the eighth gate to fight them, but despite this, it wasn’t until afterward that it really sunk in that his dad was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was the shock or the adrenaline but he really didn’t feel anything until he, Genma, and Ebisu managed to stumble their way back to camp, meeting back up with Chōza-sensei. Genma had to be the one to debrief Chōza-sensei about what happened and who helped them, as Gai was too much in a daze to do so himself. Chōza-sensei had put a hand on his shoulder, asked him if he was okay, and, distantly, Gai remembers smiling up at Chōza-sensei and giving him a thumbs-up as he told him he was perfectly fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gai doesn’t remember the rest of the mission. He thinks Chōza-sensei went to where his Papa had fought off the swordsmen and when he had returned, he ordered everyone back to the village. As they went, Gai remembers feeling an unexplainable tightness in his chest and wishing everyone would stop throwing glances at him. He didn’t understand at the time why they were so concerned about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They debriefed the Hokage and then went their separate ways, Gai going back to an empty, quiet house. The tightness in his chest was still there but he ignored it as he made himself something to eat, and then sat in silence as he ate. He then cleaned up his dishes, brushed his teeth, took a quick bath, and went to bed. As he laid there and had his eyes closed, he found himself back there, with his Papa, not even being able to say a proper goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, he lies in bed, awake, as he stares up at his ceiling. The spot beside him, the spot where his dad would normally be lying, is cold and empty. The tightness in his chest won’t go away and it’s uncomfortable. It makes it hard to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gai sits up, rubs a hand through his hair, and then gets out from under the blanket. He leaves his mat there as he walks out of the tiny house and into the woods. It’s in the middle of the night so no one should be looking for him. The Hokage has given the team a couple of days off despite being in the middle of a war. Gai isn’t going to complain though. He doesn’t think he would be able to fight adequately enough with this painful feeling in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He keeps walking until he gets to the tree that he always practices his aim with; whether that be with kunai or shuriken or just punches and kicks. It’s a tree that is marred with many scars that Gai has given it. His father would sit over by the other tree, just behind where Gai would stand, and cheer him on. Gai’s chest constricts and he punches the tree as hard as he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaves fall around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how many times he punches, kicks, and mutilates the tree but he’s panting by the time he hears the familiar voice next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo,” Gai turns to look at Kakashi. He doesn’t understand what the other shinobi could be doing here. It has to be well past midnight by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kakashi, what brings you here?” he asks enthusiastically, throwing out a thumbs up. “Here to give a challenge?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi’s head tilts and he looks at Gai in question. “I heard what happened. Minato-sensei told me. I think he heard from Chōza-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling in Gai’s chest grows stronger and so he plasters on an even bigger smile. “Oh, that? It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He turns and punches the tree again. “People die in war all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi is staring at him quietly again and Gai ignores him in favor of starting a kicking routine on the tree. More leaves fall around the two and Kakashi catches one out of the air, holding it up for inspection. He does this for several seconds, before dropping the leaf to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But your dad shouldn’t have been there.” Gai falters but covers it with a punch. “He was a Genin. He didn’t belong there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His punch misses and Gai falls forward with the momentum, hitting his head off the tree. He stumbles backward, holding his head in his hands. “Don’t speak about him like that,” he grumbles, rubbing at the pain on his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi sits down. “It’s true though. He had no business getting involved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he hadn’t, Genma, Ebisu, and I would be dead right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi shrugs. “Then you’d be dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gai stares at Kakashi. He could never understand how Kakashi could be so morbid and matter of fact. Gai shakes his head, starting to get angry. “He sacrificed himself to protect something precious to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he wasn’t!” Gai screams. “I said don’t talk about him like that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi gets up and gets right in Gai’s face. “You’re the Chunin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who should have died. Not him, a Genin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi blurs in Gai’s vision and he doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he feels the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. His chest hurts and it’s hard to breathe and he doesn’t know what to do. “Shut up,” he says meekly, trying to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi doesn’t say anything more. He just stands there as Gai cries uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face in abundance. Gai lowers himself to the ground, back pressed up against the tree. He pulls his knees closer to his chest, pressing his face into them, and sobbing loudly. Kakashi slowly sits down in front of him, close enough to touch but not doing so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how long he cries for. All he knows is his eyes start to sting and his breath starts to come out in small little hiccups. He’s suddenly exhausted and wishes his Papa were here to take him home and tuck him into bed. A whimper escapes between his hiccups and he hugs his knees tighter. Kakashi places a hesitant hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like ages before Gai has finally managed to get some semblance of control back. He lifts his head where he had it buried in his knees and looks at Kakashi. “He’d be alive right now if it weren’t for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mask and headband hide most of Kakashi’s face but Gai can tell he’s frowning in sympathy. His hand is still on Gai’s shoulder. “True.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I were stronger…” Gai trails off. He wonders if this is what it feels like to be a burden. All his father has ever done was try to encourage him and support him in everything Gai has ever done. But Gai wasn’t good enough. Even with all that his father gave him, he wasn’t strong enough to fight, he never reached his goal to prove others wrong about him and his Papa. Now, instead, his dad is dead because of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caused this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you would still be dead,” Kakashi says, interrupting Gai’s train of thought. “It was all of the seven swordsmen, Gai. You still would have died.” He pauses. “I would have died.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not often that Kakashi admits to a weakness. Gai shakes his head. “You would have defeated them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kakashi says simply and then sighs. He moves, removing his hand from Gai’s shoulder in favor of sitting next to him, side pressed flush to Gai’s. “I definitely would have died. Minato-sensei would have died. Anyone would have died.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kakashi interjects. “Your father might have been stupid to try and fight them but,” he shrugs, “well, I heard he killed four out of the seven. That’s pretty impressive.” He wraps an arm around Gai’s shoulders, pulling him closer and allowing Gai to lean his head down onto his shoulder. It’s awkward and Kakashi is stiff beside him with Gai not doing much better, but it’s the effort that counts. “I told you. Your dad is one of the coolest people around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was one of the coolest,” Gai corrects and fresh tears pool in his eyes. “Everyone dies, Kakashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s war.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi sighs and his arm tightens around Gai. “You’re not me, Gai.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get people killed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But my Papa-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Made his choice.” Kakashi turns his head and buries his face into Gai’s hair. Gai stiffens more, not exactly sure what Kakashi’s angle is or what he is doing. “I’m glad he saved you,” it’s said so quietly that Gai almost misses it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The statement makes something tighten in Gai’s chest but unlike before, it’s not a bad feeling. This one is warm and happy, just barely peeking through the heavy weight of grief. Still, it doesn’t stop Gai from saying, “I miss him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always will,” Kakashi says and then squeezes him before getting up. He holds a hand out to Gai. “Everyone dies,” he repeats Gai’s statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gai reaches up and takes a hold of Kakashi's hand. Kakashi pulls him up and he doesn't say anything as he leads Gai back home, holding his hand the whole way. When they get back to the small house, Kakashi brings him over to Gai's bed, and, without a word, they both lie down on it, Kakashi pulling the blanket up over them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi's arm wraps around Gai's middle and he presses himself up against Gai's back. They've shared a bed before when it was the only option, but Kakashi has never been so open to affection like this. It's weird yet comforting that he is doing this now and Gai feels himself melting into the mat and Kakashi's warmth. He places a hand over Kakashi's hand that is splayed over his stomach, intertwining their fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gai sighs, the weight of grief still constricting his heart, but feeling content now that Kakashi is with him. He closes his eyes with the knowledge that the next couple of months will probably be hard but, as he falls asleep with Kakashi’s warmth behind him, he knows he’ll be okay with Kakashi by his side.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!</p><p>
  <a href="https://angelcamael.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>
  <br/>
  <a href="https://lopithecusfanfiction.tumblr.com/">Fanfiction Tumblr</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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